Week 260 March 23, 2019

Thank you to our many kind relatives and friends for reaching out with your feelings and sentiments when you heard the news about Loren’s mother’s death. Loren and I are comforted by your thoughts and wisdom. One quote especially stands out from a dear cousin in Italy, as translated from her language:

     Those we love and who we have lost are no longer where they were but where we are.

We are encouraged and happy about this possibility. It reminds me of the poem that a dear friend wrote down for me that was so comforting when my mother died in 2002:

     Northwest Indian Memorial on Death

     Do not stand at my grave and weep.
     I am not there. I do not sleep.
     I am a thousand winds that blow.
     I am the diamond glint on snow.
     I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
     I am the autumn rain.
     When you awake in the morning hush,
     I am the swift uplifting rush
     Of birds circling in flight.
     I am the stars that shine at night.
     Do not stand at my grave and weep.
     I am not there. I do not sleep.

It will take time for it all to sink in…

Loren and I have been reflecting a lot. I realized that over our five years away from home, we spent about a full year of it over time, with Loren’s Mom. We are grateful for those five years, and, for that year. Specifically, Loren spent parts of seven of our initial twelve weeks when we first left home with her, while I was at Bikram Yoga teacher training. We spent parts of another week when I returned from that training. After traveling across the United States, we returned to be with her for parts of another couple of weeks before we first went overseas. We came home again to spend most of a couple of months with her before we crossed the country again and returned overseas. Now we we have been with her a lot of these past nine months. We so appreciate that we had many special times with her in these five years and many over many years before that.

If you would like to read Loren’s Mom’s obituary you can find it online here:

Lillian-WRIGHT-Obituary http://m.legacy.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Lillian-WRIGHT&lc=9581&pid=191853659&mid=8204623


At the beginning of this week Loren, his sister and I celebrated her life quietly at their home one evening for dinner, saluting her with her favorite Moscato wine.

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At the beginning of this week our weather remained spring-like. Now at the end of the week it feels like winter again. We helped his sister do some chores outdoors in the delightful weather. Loren and I also enjoyed a date night out for St Patrick’s Day dinner after I taught an afternoon Bikram Yoga class that day. We enjoyed seeing the enchanting full moon for the Spring Equinox this week too.

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It was delightful later that same St Patty’s Day evening to see a decoration in our neighborhood that I had taken a photo of one day, was lit up that night. And, it had been surprising and interesting to learn from Loren’s sisters who in the past months had their Mom take a DNA test, that, not only did she have Italian, but also some Irish in her blood!

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Another day we drove to San Jose to stop in at the Post Office to try to pick up a tax paper that had not been forwarded from our closed PO Box. That document was not there, but, I was so happy to find four Christmas greeting cards which also had not been forwarded were patiently awaiting pickup!

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This week too I finished taking the required number of CEUs online that I take each year to would allow me to return to work in the future. The courses I took this year were all about aging. I came across words for people in each decade of life and learned that Loren’s Mom and others between the ages of 90 and 99 are called nonagenarians. I can just hear her sense of humor if I had been able to tell her that… perhaps she would have said something she had enjoyed teaching us recently from her Piemontese dialect –

     Te ping de balle.

It is a little off color, but essentially means: You’re full of it!

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Loren and I are grateful that we did travel parts of the world during these past 5 years. His Mom expressed her appreciation frequently in these last several months that we had returned. Now we feel in a state of flux. We are not sure what our future will hold. We are having trouble picturing what might come next for us. So for the meantime we are staying put. We had already arranged before Loren’s Mom died to stay in our AirBnB here through the month of April. We hope our future will include more travel, there are so many places and people we hope to visit, but right now we have no energy to even consider travel. I came across this quote on another traveler’s blog, which rings so true…

     Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable
.

          Sydney J. Harris

 

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